Marauders
by MidnightMoony
Summary: Remus attempts to have a heart to heart with Sirius, but nothing can be (forgive my pun) serious with Sirius. (I do not own these characters/Image a courtesy of Google Images) *rated T for implied homosexuality and talks of war/death


"Moony?"

"Yes, Sirius?" Remus sighed, not really wanting to put up with his friend's antics at the present moment in time, he had an essay due for DADA after all.

"Do you really think there's going to be a war?"

Well that was unexpected. Remus closed his book and put the cork back in his ink well. He knew this was going to be a long discussion meaning he'd have to finish his paper tomorrow.

"Why do you ask that?" Remus questioned lightly.

"People are disappearing, Remus. Others are panicking. I'm worried that it will tear us apart in more ways than one." Sirius voice wavered a bit but Remus knew better than to point this out.

Remus adjusted himself on his four-poster bed so he was entirely facing the worried boy. Sirius was laying flatly on his back in his bed, hands behind his head. It was still rather early but not too early. Outside the sun had already set but not all the stars were visible. Remus now wished he were in detention with the other two Marauders so he didn't have to have this heart to heart with Sirius. He knew one of them was going to bring up the imminent war, he just never really prepared himself for it to be Sirius.

"What are you really afraid of Sirius?" Remus asked softly, his voice barely above a whisper. "That we'll all get split up? Or that we'll disappear without anyone being able to find out if we were left dead or alive?"

"I'm not afraid, Moony." Sirius scoffed. "I'm absolutely terrified. What if we don't make it back for our last year at Hogwarts? What if James never gets Lily to go with him? What if we lose poor Peter in an alley somewhere when we're getting our supplies? What if you get ambushed one night alone? What if-"

"What if you stop worrying yourself Sirius." Remus interrupted the animagi's rambling. "Worrying about the inevitable isn't going to make it not happen. We just have to be strong and be focused on a brighter future. A future where we won't have to worry about when we'll be attacked next but where we worry if James isn't getting the snot beat out of him by an irritated Evans who already turned him down how many times?"

"Seven hundred and thirty-four I belive." Sirius replied without missing a beat.

Remus chuckled. Leave it to Sirius to actually keep count.

"Do you think she'll ever say yes?"

"I beg your pardon?" Remus asked confused.

Sirius shifted his body around so he could look at Remus, now propping himself up with one arm. "Do you think that Lily will ever go out with James before all this reaches its climax."

Remus smiled. "Well he certainly has behaved a bit better hasn't he? She stopped calling him an irritating, hormonal, baby Mandrake and opted for annoying git. It's a step in the right direction."

"True." Sirius said, letting himself drop into his earlier position. "I wonder what their kids will look like."

Remus let out a laugh. Only Sirius could turn a conversation on a dime like that.

"I bet he'll name it...Sirius."

"He would have to be daft to name his child after you. Anyone would."

"Please, Moony. You know very well you would name your child after me."

Remus made an uncomfortable noise. Sirius realised his mistake. He shot up and made his way over to Remus' bed and let himself fall next to him.

"Oh, come off it. I'm sure you'll find a nice girl who will love you for you and you'll have a whole litter of babies." Sirius said with a grin all while throwing an arm around the worried werewolf.

"I doubt it." Remus sighed.

"Alright, a nice bloke then."

"I-wait what!" Remus turned to stare at his friend next to him. Did he really just say that?

"What? You said you doubted you'd find a nice girl so I just assumed that meant you like blokes. I thought there was something off about you, Remmy. No wonder I always felt off when I was changing around you. No matter. I still love you all the same. If I didn't shove you away when I found out about your furry little problem then why would I just because you like blokes."

Remus picked up his book and smacked Sirius upside his pretty little head. Hard.

"Ow! What was that for!"

"Sirius, I appreciate your sentiments but I do not like blokes!" Remus yelled, his pale face turning a nice shade of pink.

"Well then, regardless if you like blokes or girls or the sodding Whomping Willow, you'll find someone who will fall madly in love with you and want to bear your offspring."

"Sirius, I swear, you'll be the death of me." Remus said as he began rubbing his temples for he could feel a headache forming.

"Come on! I'll even try setting you up with one of my distant cousins!"

"Sirius, I have enough of you with it is! I don't think marrying one of your distant cousins would help get me away from you! Plus, I doubt any of your family members would want to date me, let alone bear my offspring!"

"You're probably right. They tend to go for darker guys. You're a bit too goody two-shoes for 'em."

Remus stopped and stared at Sirius. If he didn't have a deep brotherly love for the guy...

"I don't want to ever look at another bloody cauldron ever again!"

"I don't feel like using my arms ever again."

Remus sat up. Finally, the other finished their detention. Maybe, he could hope, that Sirius would bother them instead. James threw open the door, a sour look on his face. Peter walked in after him, kicking the door closed in his wake. James didn't even make it to his bed before he collapsed. Face down first on the floor he let out a groan. Peter crawled into bed and did the same.

"Have fun in detention you two?" Sirius asked, receiving another round of groans.

"Bloody cauldrons! All sorts of stuff stuck on them! Some with burnt markings! Other with holes! The horror!" James screeched, turning himself over, his glasses slanted.

"The smell is still in my nose!" Peter whined from his bed.

"I'll take that as a yes." Sirius said before turning to Remus again. "So, who can we get you with?"

"Remus wants a girlfriend?" James perked up.

"Why didn't you ever tell us?" Peter sat up in bed.

"What? No! No, you two have it all wrong! Padfoot here started talking about the war then switched to baby names then got the ridiculous idea that I like blokes!" Remus rambled.

"Ah, so you want a girlfriend in order to cover up any suspicions that you like blokes." Peter concluded.

"Yes! Wait, no!"

"You know, I think Frank Longbottom could be a good match for you." James threw out the idea.

"Frank is with Alice though." Sirius interjected.

"Blimey, he is isn't he?"

"What about a Ravenclaw?" Peter threw out there.

"That way we could sit around while Remus and his boyfriend do our homework. Brilliant, Peter!"

"No! Remember, girlfriend cover up first, then boyfriend."

"Right, right. Bad idea Peter."

"Ok, Ravenclaw girl then!"

"Why not Gryffindor girl?"

"Because she'll demolish poor little Remus!"

"Good point, James."

"Slytherin?"

"What!"

"No!"

"I was only joking!"

"Hufflepuff?"

"No, they would be a bit too airy."

"I swear, I need new friends." Remus moaned as he let himself fall on his bed.

"What was that Remus?"

"Oh, don't mind him. Now then, Ravenclaw girl but Gryffindor boy."

"Yes!"

"Brilliant!"

Remus grabbed his pillow and let out a lengthy groan. This was the last time he would ever try giving Sirius a heart to heart.


End file.
